Full-time Work Avoidance Strategies

"Are you a full-time writer?” It’s a question writers are often asked. I always hesitate before answering. Yes, in the sense that I don’t have another job and I am attempting to earn my living by writing. But if I’m a “full-time” writer, how come I spend so little time writing?

Something came through the post the other day. Something dreamt up as a “project” by some arts admin person – DON’T get me started but they LOVE projects – in a salaried ivory tower. It was designed to help me discover my goals and aims and outcomes and targets and objectives. All these are different, by the way, but you need to be a full-time salaried arts admin person to understand how. I hadn’t asked for this thing to be sent but I had a little look at it. (Work Avoidance Strategy, No. 1).

Part of it asked me to draw a circle and divide it into sections like a pie-chart, according to how much time I spent on any activity in one day. Because it was a caring-sharing kind of a document, it also said that I could, if I preferred, do percentages instead of pie-charts. Actually, I didn’t prefer either, so I decided not to waste my time, and just get on with some writing instead.

Trouble is, by then I was distracted by the question: how much time DO I spend on writing? So (Work Avoidance Strategy No. 2) I made a list of all the things I do that are work-related but don’t actually involve writing. Lists are things I do well. Pie-charts and percentages are not.

Here’s my list: doing talks for schools, conferences, festivals etc; planning those talks; answering the copious emails that fly around during the months leading up to those talks; booking travel / accommodation for those talks; calculating costs and sending invoices related to those talks; office admin such as dealing with computer problems, stationery, things breaking, tax stuff; doing committee work for the various things I’m involved in, especially the Society of Authors, which I chair in Scotland and which occupies HOURS and HOURS; answering emails and letters from fans (both of them); answering homework requests from readers who have to finish their essay by Monday and need my help or their teacher will kill them; research; copy-editing or proof-reading a typescript that has just arrived back on my desk needing checking; writing the cover blurb / dedication / author notes / stuff for Amazon; writing articles for websites / magazines / newspapers; doing interviews; thinking up and then acting on publicity ideas; organising events or launches; travelling a LOT. Oh, look, for goodness' sake – this is boring (but a very good Work Avoidance Strategy).

And I’m not even counting the other very important things, like having coffee with friends. And buying new shoes.

The reason I’m vexed about this right now is that I’m in the middle of a ridiculous period of not being able to write because my diary is full of these tasks. And why have I allowed this to happen? Simple: because all those things are SO much easier than actually writing, which is much harder than you might think. In fact, there’s a great quote (Work Avoidance Strategy No. 3 was to find out who said it - Thomas Mann) – “A writer is someone for whom writing is harder than it is for other people.”

The good thing about all this is that I am now absolutely desperate to write. And with any luck really wanting to write will mean I write better. So, not writing makes me write better? Hmm, I like that. I should do more not writing. Bring on Work Avoidance Strategy No 4: coffee and chocolate.

STOP PRESS PS
Actually, I wrote the above stuff a few weeks ago as a real work avoidance strategy and then work got in the way and I forgot to post it. I guess that means that work itself became a work avoidance strategy avoidance strategy. This could get seriously complicated and I am not sure my brain can cope.

More importantly - I think - I have started another blog, which has been taking me away from this blog (blogs are stupendously brilliant work avoidance strategies and having TWO of them is bliss). It's called Help! I Need a Publisher! and is aimed at unpublished authors. www.need2bpublished.blogspot.com

And now, I must go and do some work. After I've checked the other blog. And had chocolate.